


Regally Pond

by graestu



Category: Doctor Who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21692473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graestu/pseuds/graestu
Summary: It's a perfect day, and nothing's standing in the way of Amy marrying Handsome Prince Charming. But that's not Rory (no offence).
Kudos: 1





	Regally Pond

Amy stared out the window of her luxurious room in the highest tower of the Palace, reciting the events to herself yet again.

"Do you, Amelia 'Yeah, why not, it'll be a laugh' Pond take Handsome Prince Charming to be your husband?" "No, I blimmin' well don't! I will not marry Handsome Prince Charming! I'll marry Rory! (no offence). Executioners or not! You'd better get here damn quick, Raggedy Man!"

A knock at the door interrupted her fearful predictions about tomorrow's ceremony.

An old lady shuffled in, escorted by two footmen.

They had ludicrously fancy uniforms of gold trimmed orange velvet knickerbockers, fringed capes, long curly-toed shoes, and the big feathers in their pointed caps wafted about in front of their faces.

Amy took no notice. She barely looked round. She was thinking about how she got into this mess in the first place...

"Did I ever tell you The Bizarre Secret of Saturn's Rings?" The Doctor called excitedly across the TARDIS, as Amy and Rory came down the stairs.

He was about to begin, knowing he hadn't, when they were all thrown sideways as the TARDIS jolted. With a shower of sparks and a dizzying spin, they skidded into a crash landing.

"Time for a quick walk while she cools down," said The Doctor, patting the console on the way to the door.

"Where are we?" asked Amy and Rory, following him out.

"FairyStoryLand!" joked The Doctor. "Which is a real place, by the way."

He didn't have a clue, and they knew it. But it was an apt description.

There were timber framed pink houses, fluffy clouds in the bright blue sky, and a castle-palace on the hill.

A crowd were gathered around a golden carriage with four white horses parked in the middle of the cobbled street. One by one, disappointed ladies moved away.

One of the townsfolk spotted the three confused newcomers, and nudged Amy.

"That's Handsome Prince Charming," she said. "He has declared that he will marry whoever the Glass Slipper fits. It was dropped by a young lady he danced with at last night's Masked Ball."

Handsome Prince Charming approached Amy, who shyly declined his offer.

Then she thought about it for a moment, and announced, "Yeah, why not, it'll be a laugh!"

" _'Yeah.' 'Why not.' 'It'll be a laugh.'_ " said Rory to The Doctor. "Her actual words."

They had just seen Amy bundled away by Handsome Prince Charming's Beefeaters.

Powerless against their pikestaffs, she had been lifted into the carriage, and driven off at top speed.

"I know," replied The Doctor. "Who'd have thought two women would have the same size feet?"

"OYEZ!" shouted the Town Crier, almost deafening The Doctor and Amy as he rang his bell. "Handsome Prince Charming to marry tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow?!" they gulped, as he passed.

"Ain't right!" protested an old man who had witnessed the scene, for everyone to hear. "I mean, no member of the Royal Family's ever married a _white_ person before! And what's worse, she's a gi**er!"

The Doctor just managed to stop Rory punching the old git in the mouth.

The Doctor and Rory forced themselves to calm down and consider the problem.

"You said it!" said Rory, realising they had the answer. "Two women with the same size feet! And we know who that other woman is!"

"Cinderella!" they said together.

"OYEZ!" shouted the Town Crier, on his way back. "Tea towels! Mugs! Keyrings! Get your Royal Wedding souvenirs!"

A merchant with a cart was already selling hastily produced tat.

"Excuse me," said The Doctor to the Town Crier. "I don't suppose you know where we can find Cinderella, do you? No, of course you don't. Silly question."

"Yes, Sir. That's her, Sir." He pointed at a tea towel which had a photo of a startled looking Amy with a _'Help! I'm in a Royal carriage, and I've just been kidnapped!'_ expression.

"No, no," said Rory. "That's..."

"That's Cinderella," insisted the Town Crier. "Palace kitchen maid to become Princess!" he shouted, and continued along the street.

The Doctor looked at Rory. Rory looked at The Doctor. They both looked at the picture on the tea towel. And they dashed towards the Palace kitchens.

The old lady tugged Amy's sleeve.

"Amy Pond's not enough of a Fairy Tale name," she croaked. "They're changing it when you're married. To Goldilocks."

Amy spun round angrily.

The two footmen were grinning idiotically, as the old woman straightened up and removed her disguise.

It was like looking in a mirror.

The Doctor and Rory had brought Cinderella up to her rightful place.

Quickly, they got Amy into the disguise and escorted her down the stone spiral staircase.

The Doctor, Amy and Rory stood at the TARDIS, raising their souvenir mugs as the procession went by.

Cinderella gave them a special wave.

Her two footmen bowed their heads in thanks as they guided the coach to the cathedral for their stepsister's wedding.

One of them was wearing a replacement hat.

Well, you didn't think The Doctor would miss an opportunity like that, did you?


End file.
